detectivepineapplesperalta:

 I like to watch a show on a garbage tv network, you know I don’t want to name any actual networks so lets just make one up and so lets just call it fox. So I watch this show on “fox” and i’m like “can you please promote brooklyn nine nine” And they’re like “NO! AND STOP ASKING!!!” and I go “okayyyyyyyy” and I go to the bathroom. Then I come out of the bathroom and I go “any updates on brooklyn nine-nine?” and they go “yeah, we CANCELED IT . BECAUSE WE HATE YOU. Now go watch these other shitty shows that aren’t funny, GO! FETCH!” And I go “okayyyyy :(((’ and then I go over to the fox twitter and i go “can you please not cancel all your actual good shows?” and they go “NOOOOO! In fact, we’re gonna frame you for murder! And you’re gonna go to jail for 30 years!” and I go “why are you doing this to me?” and they say “Because we’re fox studios and life is a fucking nightmare!”