symbiote-spideypool:

peter is a mild mannered dentist with a small practice, but by night he’s new york’s own amazing spiderman, fighter of small crimes and defender of stupid people that wander into alleyways at night

wade got shot in the face and is in so much fucking pain because one of his teeth shattered, and then the new tooth grew in next to the shattered one, so there’s still like a million fucking pieces of bone stabbing into the inside of his gums and it’s driving him crazy

wade doesn’t actually know how to fix this particular problem, short of losing his entire face and letting it regrow, but that’s not so fun, so he picked the first dentist place he could find, waited until there were only three people left inside, and then walked in with a gun in each hand and asked which one was the doctor

so peter is p confused as to why wade is holding a small dentistry at gunpoint, but his spidey sense isn’t going off, so he raises his hand and tells wade he doesn’t actually have more than 200$ in the cash drawer rn

and wade tells him he just needs some teeth pulled, and peter, ever putting his foot in his mouth, asks if he’ll be paying with cash, to which wade awkwardly puts away the guns and pulls out a wad of cash

peter covers for wade and sends the two workers home, pretending that wade is an old friend with a few screws loose, and the guns are actually fake, it works because neither of them call the cops when they leave

peter has to go slow and keep explaining to wade what he’s doing with all his instruments, because wade’s panicking every time peter picks up a new instrument, but eventually peter manages to get all the pieces of wade’s shattered tooth out, and when he’s done, he lets wade pick a toy out of the prize box

it’s kind of a surreal experience for the both of them, so now whenever wade has some sort of medical problem, he shows up at peter’s house, he’s ruined five couches by bleeding on them and peter keeps insisting he doesn’t know how to take care of growing an extra tibia, but he’s the only doctor wade trusts